Until recently, I thought of the seasons as what we’re taught in school: spring, summer, fall and winter. But life has more seasons than just that. There are seasons of grief, joy, decline, growth, work, rest, feast, and famine just to name a few.

With each season, it’s important, though often difficult, to recognize that the trials or joys experienced are temporary. The season is not forever, and will eventually pass.

When we purchased this property, I had always said I would never move from our previous home. Finally, seeing how busy the road we were on was becoming, I told my husband that if he could find our same floor plan home but on more acreage and on a less busy road, I would consider it. In the fall of 2021, we were visiting some of my family and decided to take the scenic route when we saw a for sale sign on a piece of property that I knew to have the old homeplace that belonged to my Great-Great-Grandfather. We inquired on seeing it, and it checked every box PLUS had family history dating back to the 1890’s.

The property (8 acres) had been neglected, the barn and storage shed as well as the old homeplace all in disrepair, and the pasture severely overgrown, and fencing was basically nonexistent. We knew we’d have our work cut out for us, but we had to give it our all.

After settling in, we decided in spring of 2022 to begin incorporating some animals. We started with meat chickens. We had 20, and that process went great! Our birds lasted us through winter when we decided to order more to do the next year’s batch. We started the first batch in our basement, and that just became too stinky, so we set the second batch up in the barn. The final weeks of the chicks being in the brooder, just days shy of moving to pasture, an animal, presumably a cat, possum, or raccoon began messing around near the chickens. First, it got into the feed. Next, it switched off the radio. Then, it unplugged the heat lamp. The next night, it must have knocked the heat lamp over, because I was awoken by a neighbor at 2am informing me that our barn was on fire. By the time I got on shoes and a jacket, three sides of the barn were already gone. It was so warm in the front yard from the blaze I hardly needed my jacket. I was sick to my stomach, heartbroken feeling I had failed my family by destroying the barn that had been there at least since the early 1900’s if not before.

At the time of the fire, I was also about 5 months pregnant. We learned that we were underinsured on the barn as it was valued at $65,000 and the insurance would not even cover half. With me being pregnant, we put the barn on hold as it was overwhelming to even fathom rebuilding, how big we’d need, and what could we even rebuild with such a small budget?

All of this to explain, for the past several months, we’ve been in a season of waiting as we process the loss, figure out how to move forward, and of course prepare for the arrival of our newest addition. In July, we welcomed a sweet baby girl, and in August, a month after settling in and adjusting to our new family dynamic we began planning for our goals for our new barn. (More on that later!)

Some may think of a season of waiting as stagnant or rest, but in all actuality a season of waiting is a time for growth, maturity, and reflection. For me, I took the barn burning personally. I know it sounds silly, but seeing all of the family history gone just like that really hurt my heart. My husband took it hard too, and would talk about this property not being meant to be. Not to mention, my toddler asked about the barn and why it burned daily for about two months. Hearing his questions was especially hard on my mama heart. We reflected a lot on what our purpose here on this property is, and what we aspire to make of it.

It’s hard to sit in feelings of waiting, grief, and sadness for so long, and if you’re in one of these seasons where you feel like it’s never-ending please know I feel for you. Know that no season lasts forever, and this too shall pass. Without the seasons of despair, we wouldn’t be able to appreciate the good seasons. Friend, good times / things are coming. Pray and wait and as difficult as it is, be patient. Sending love in your waiting or difficult season.