Sometimes picking up where you left off is hard, especially the more time has lapsed. I’ve been missing this space, journaling, creating, and sharing on my little corner of the internet, but it’s hard feeling like you have anything to say at all once so much time has passed. So this is my comeback – an introduction or re-introduction, and explanation of where I’ve been and why.

It’s been just over 6 months, and believe me, this was not an intentional break. But it became a necessary one turned prolonged.

We processed our meat chickens on June 1st, and were planning to welcome rabbits to our little homestead the following day, which I’d planned to make my next blog post. But when I awoke on processing day, I complained to several people close to me that I just felt ‘off’. I couldn’t describe it further other than I didn’t feel right. With the heat of the first day of June’s sun, we planned to start processing day early, so I trudged along with my baby in a carrier on my back and tried to be of help with setup. I felt tired and groggy, really like I wasn’t able to do anything. I didn’t have any focus, so I seemed to just pace around, and finally I told the guys I was going to try and lay down to see if rest would help. I was restless, and couldn’t seem to fall asleep.

Around mid-afternoon I decided I would load up the kids and head to town to take care of a few last minute things I needed for the arrival of our rabbits the next day. The errands were basic, regular errands, nothing too strenuous or exhausting. Two quick stops and lastly, a trip into Walmart for a few things, mostly baby related. While in Walmart, I remember feeling a headache come on accompanied by nausea and I began to feel sick. I remember seeing flashing lights and bumping into an aisle or shelf and then I remember everything going black. Sometime later, I awoke in an ambulance heading to the hospital.

The EMTs let me know that my kids were waiting with Walmart staff for my husband to arrive, and that a man noticed me behaving strangely (bumping into things and people) and overheard me tell my son I thought I was going to “be sick” so he began to follow us to see if I needed help. As he was about to approach me, he said I began to collapse due to what they believed to be a seizure.

The hospital ran tests, I followed up with my primary care doctor who referred me to a neurologist where I was eventually seen after another visit to the emergency room after I continued to feel strange and “off” for the week following the episode in Walmart believed to be a seizure. After an MRI, CT, EEG, and other bloodwork, nothing abnormal was found. I continued to feel excessively tired for about two weeks following the seizure but even for about the first month after, I didn’t quite feel like myself.

Following this, as I tried to get back in the groove of things at home, I decided to take a step back from anything not necessary, and went into survival mode until I could regain my normal energy. Once I started to feel normal again, I had hoped to come back to this space, but I felt so strange and didn’t know where to begin. So I took time. I’ve felt like myself for a while now, but am finally getting back into crafting and things I want to share.

So here I am. After an extended break, I’m back and looking forward to sharing more of what’s going on around here.